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Dumbass Database
A collection of dumbasses for your amusement
Created By: WebMasterP
Version: 2.8.5

Category: Miscellaneous

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Dumbass #45 - Submitted on 02-01-2002 by AuraEdge
This isnt a singular dumbass but more of a collaberation of dumbasses.

Anyways, how come when that old old computer comes in (with the 5.25" Floppies) almost half of them have CD's stuck in them? And how come out of that half, they're ALWAYS AOL disks?

Makes me wonder if there's any correlation

- Jon
Comments: 1 || Votes: 3

Dumbass #7 - Submitted on 01-15-2002 by Hwangster
When I was a kid, my mom was getting a new diaper for me, and I was walking down the stairs following her butt naked. I was too distressed by her leaving me and peed on the floor, slipped on it, and got 6 stiches on my forehead.

- Kirby
Comments: 0 || Votes: 3

Dumbass #107 - Submitted on 02-10-2002 by unabomber
Ok, its me again, and this is one of the best stories ever. So, I was working in the computer office of my college, answering phones and walking people through their TCP/IP setup, not a big deal. It's late, around 10PM or so, and I get this call from someone who is really pissed off. He claims that one of the other employees came out and configured his computer to get on the net, and that now his machine won't start up. So, I ask him a few questions, and learn that he has a Mac (ewwww). He wants me to come out and look at his computer, but I can't because I'm the only person in the office, and I can't leave, because I would have to lock up the office, but I don't have the keys to get back in. This was unacceptable to him, and the swearing began. I was called every dirty name in the book (and some not in the book). I then imformed him that I didn't know too much about Macs, he became more irate in the fact that he felt I was unqualified for this job (its not like I get any training, this is work study, geeze). I also told him (repeatidly) that this is not a tech support line, this line was only for TCP/IP problems. Finally, I told him that someone would come by and look at his computer tomorrow, and hung up on him.

Two minutes passed, and he calls back. Now he is claiming that I just sent him some virus or something similar (remember, he is also claiming that his computer won't boot, nor will it connect to the net, oh, and we are on totaly different parts of the network). I explain that what he is sugesting is impossible, but he doesn't want to hear any of that. I promptly hang up on him, and fwd all calls to voicemail.

10 minutes pass, and he is now at the computer services office (damn, I knew I should have locked that door). Oh, and he has come with a friend. He continues to yell at me, and now threaten me. So, I tell him that I have a solution to this problem. I pick up the phone, and call campus security and say, "Hi, I have an irate student threatening me in the computer labs, I need him removed imediatly." His friend (being the genius that he is) sugests that "they ride, man, lets ride, we gotta ride 'g' lets ride." So they depart, and security shows up, I file a report, and call my boss. My boss comes in and calls him, and tells him that I was right, and he was wrong. Thats all for the night.

Then next day, I'm working again, and he shows up, this time to talk to my boss. Only difference is that this time, he complains and says I was harassing him, and claims that he never came to the office. That is when we went to the video tape. He also claims that he uses his computer all the time, so we ask, when was the last time he used it, his responce, "ummm, sometime last year, I don't remember." Well, to now end this story, my boss goes over to his room, and finds that some integral part of the Mac OS (called Mac Link) has crashed, and will not allow his computer to start. She tells him to call Apple Tech Support, and leaves. Now what makes things even better, is that my boss then called his parents, and told them about the incident. To say the least, they wanted to kill their lovely (and stupid) son.

- stupid mac boy
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #106 - Submitted on 02-07-2002 by _luck_
My father flew out to visit and he asked me if i would setup a computer for him and show him a few basics to get started. He had just retired and had some spare time to waste. I setup a celeron 400(TOL at the time) with voodoo..yaddayadda and was pleased with the result. We had both our puters sittin in the living room and he was eager to figure out a few things. I told him to take him mouse and goto My computer. He then proceeded to stand up and walk to where i was sitting, still holding his mouse.

- frustrated_son
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #105 - Submitted on 02-07-2002 by GrimBeaver
When I was working for an engineering company they had just gotten a new support tech. He recieved a call from a user who needed another network jack in their office for a laptop. He went into the closet (which he wasn't supposed to do) and tryed to hook up the connection. About an hour later the rest of the tech support found the network was being flooded with bad packets and a group of people had no connections. Turns out he had taken the uplink from one hub and hooked it into another hub giving that hub two uplinks to the main switches. Needless to say he was fired the same day and sent back to the staffing company we got him from. The funny thing was this guy is supposed to have a MCSE certification. Don't know how he got it though.

- Anonymous
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #98 - Submitted on 02-05-2002 by Poof
I do the repair work for a large company and the brilliant people who do the "phone tech" work at the company said that the customer needed a new Harddrive to fix their computer from not POSTing. Now, please tell me here.. HOW is a problem with the comp not POSTing caused by the HD?


- Anonymous
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #94 - Submitted on 02-05-2002 by prefect
I consider myself fairly computer savey, I've built a half dozen + computers without problems, but sometimes my common sense fails me.

So there I was, drinking, (not really, but I think all good stories should start out that way)putting together a computer for my friends brother. He had purchased all the parts, and asked me to assemble it. So I go over and put in the processor and motherboard fine, and I go to put in the power supply and the hole for the cable on the back is in the wrong place, so I can't access the plug. I'm trying to figure out what kind of case he ordered, in the mean-time he calls his father who brings over some tools. We get halfway through cutting new holes and go to fit the power supply. The 50 year old man starts to put the power supply in upsidedown (or at least opposite how I initialy installed it), I didn't stop him and to my suprise it fits perfectly. I just put it in upsidedown to start with.

Boy did I feel stupid.

- prefect
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #88 - Submitted on 02-03-2002 by DSR
I did this myself, and I can't believe I was this stupid, but nethertheless here 'goes.
I had bought a new mobo, and an tbird 1.4, and a sk6 heatsink. well when I installed the mobo into my case, I didn't remove the extra screw mount from my old motherboard. So when I switched it on, nothing happened, and I smelled smoke...So I called the company that I bought it from, and continued to tell them that they sent me a dead chip...
it gets better.
So I sent the board, and chip back, they test it, and it was indeed dead, so they send me a new chip already in the mobo, pretested it and all. I installed it again, and same thing happened!!!! So now I freak, bring it to a company I used to work for, and asked him to sell me a chip, and install it for me. he agrees, and before I go, I put the mobo back in, and I notice one of the mounts in the case, had no screw hole in front of it, and so I remove it. Regardless, they power it up, it works perfectly fine. Dumbass That I AM!!!

- Anonymous
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #87 - Submitted on 02-03-2002 by marphyre
Me and some friends in class were reading some of the database here, and we read the one about 'refreshing the monitor,' and we were imitating by turning our monitors off and back on...well a guy sitting next to one of my friends goes 'what happened, did your computer lock up?'...and this is in a Win2k Administration class!!!

- Marphyre
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #78 - Submitted on 02-03-2002 by GrimBeaver
Back when I was working for a web design company we had made a site that the customer was going to update themself via Frontpage 2000. I got a call from one of their people complaining that they couldn't connect to the server to update the website. I knew she was on a dialup so I asked her what version of Windows she was running so I would know what to tell her. She told me that she saw Word 97. I then told her that it was a connection problem and she needed to contact her ISP. I then went and asked my boss why they had such stupid people updating their site. He got a real kick out of it.

- Anonymous
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

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