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Dumbass Database
A collection of dumbasses for your amusement
Created By: WebMasterP
Version: 2.8.5

Category: Miscellaneous

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Dumbass #63 - Submitted on 02-02-2002 by Ballistyx
After I left my old job at a Mom & Pop store, I went to work for a company in the Boston area.

Being as that I had quite a lot of experience actually fixing computers (instead of reading from a cue sheet), people used to ask for me to fix their laptops or desktops. With that, my tale beings.

The helpdesk had gotten a call from an upper echelon exec that his laptop (a Compaq Armada 4130T) was broken. Mind you, it wasn't exactly broken in the normal sense.

While he was out on a business trip, the exec had TAKEN THE LAPTOP APART, and had called into the helpdesk to get some assistance on putting it back together again.

That's not the good part.

When he got back into the office, we took possesion of the laptop. He didn't do a bad job of putting it back together, but I quickly found out why he had taken it apart in the first place.

The dumbass WHIPPED THE LAPTOP against a wall, jarring all the parts inside. By some miracle, the LCD was intact.

He whipped the laptop with enough force to bend the internal alloy frame quite a bit. That's why the laptop wouldn't fit together correctly.

Well.. that stuff never stopped me before, so I unbent the frame and put it back together again. Would you beleive that it STILL worked after all of this?

I didn't actually return it to him, but from what I was told, the look on his face was priceless. He apparently was expecting for us to outright replace the laptop with a brand new one. He didn't actually expect for somebody to repair the damage he had done to his "old" (about four months old) laptop.

- Anonymous
Comments: 0 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #62 - Submitted on 02-02-2002 by Ballistyx
Ahhh... customers from hell. Those of you who work in the service industry are going to love this one.

Back at the old Mom & Pop store, we used to have this really obnoxious customer who used to frequent the store with a friend of hers.

Mind you, she wasn't exactly STUPID, but she had quite a few bad things going for her:

1) She never wore deoderant.

2) She'd ALWAYS bring her kids in with her, and we'd end up playing babysitters for her.

3) She never brushed her teeth

4) She smoked more than a smoke stack at a New Jersey chemical plant

...and 5) She ALWAYS wanted to either hug or kiss me.

Other than that, she wasn't exactly a BAD person, just somebody you didn't want to hang around with for any extended amount of time.

Well... apparently she took a liking to me, and WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE. Whenever something went wrong with her computer, she would specifically request that *I* work on it, and she would stick around the store to make sure that only *I* worked on it (all the while hanging a few inches off of my back, wreaking like last year's garbage).

Well.. eventually I found a new job and the store had closed up shop. I thought that I was rid of this bitch forever.. oh how cruel God can be at times...

Three weeks ago, I was at Best Buy with a few friends of mine who were picking up some new DVD's. I just came along for the ride really, but since I was there I figured I'd check out the cell phones (since I was thinking about upgrading mine). When I got to the counter, I KNEW I recognized the person behind the counter, but I couldn't remember the face. She said the same thing to me too, that she remembered me from somewhere.

By the time I remembered exactly who she was, it was far too late! There are no words to describe the feelings of absolute terror I felt at that moment. First thing she did was leap over the counter and give me a hug... and then ask for my home phone number so she could call me with her computer problems.

PFFFTTHH!!! I told her a half-lie. I told her that I didn't have a phone (truth). The lie part is that I have a cell phone, but as I saw her I had conveniently stashed it in my pocket. A few minutes into the conversations I realized that it was a good thing too. She didn't actually work for Best Buy, but for AT&T Wireless and she was there picking up the new customer list for that week. Three guesses who my cell carrier is? If she had a clue that I was an AT&T wireless customer, I know for A FACT that (even though it's illegal for her to do this) she'd have looked up my customer record just so she could call me at her every whim.

I'm afraid.... oh so very afraid.....

- Anonymous
Comments: 0 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #61 - Submitted on 02-02-2002 by philgolian
I have a bunch of dumbass friends. But before tell about them, ill tell something i did. I want installing floppys, and broke two drives by trying to force the cable on upside down. you know, how some floppy cables have 1 blank pin thing. i bent the pin on two drives. and for some reason after buying two move from driveguys.com, they sent me four instead of two. i dont recall clicking order twice

Dumbass friends:
-i have a friend that buys a bunch of games and exspects them to run on his computer he says cost $2k 3 years ago. i know we all know people like this
-when asking friends to burn warez for me. i open up the cd, or floppy, finding a 1kb shortcut to the program.
-my my brother is such a dumbass, if i want a computer to be destroyed i give it too him... for example, two weeks ago i built my family a p3 computer and put it on a desk in the family. most of the time my brothers sit and watch the jonny castaway screen saver, but since i have gotten back on it, the modem and sound no longer work, the desktop is a mess, they F**ked up all the settings, and the cdrom, well i dont even want to know what they did to that. i want to strangle them everythime they ask to use my computers to surf the net because their computer wont work.

- phil
Comments: 0 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #58 - Submitted on 02-02-2002 by Xthal
I`m studying IKT here in norway for the time being, and one day we get a dead computer brought down to us.

So we try to find out what has gone wrong, and the lady who owns the computer says like " I was just shutting down the computer and after that it wont work"

The thing was she had turned it off by prying a pencil into the 110/220V svitch in the back off the powersupply.
Luckily all we had to do was insert a new fuse in the PSU :)

I still dont get it what brings a person to do that, I mean its not exactly EASY to get to :P

People like that should NEVER own a computer!

- Xthal
Comments: 0 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #165 - Submitted on 02-07-2005 by ahartschen
I work for a computer training company and we had a really inept office manager who should never have been allowed near anything electronic. We were discussing our public schedule one day and she mentioned that the Hotmail class was cancelled. I had already been dealing with months of her stupidity and wasn’t in the mood to argue with her at this point. I knew full well that we wouldn’t have training on something like Hotmail. I just ignored her comment and walked away. Another employee had over heard our conversation, stopped me and asked if I knew what she was talking about. I of course didn’t know where she got hotmail from and wondered what she meant. He told me that she meant H.T.M.L. I went back to the manager and asked if by Hotmail she meant H.T.M.L. She replied, “Yes, H.T.M.L. That’s the short form for HOTMAIL isn’t it? They just removed the vowels.”

- Anonymous
Comments: 0 || Votes: 0

Dumbass #159 - Submitted on 04-14-2004 by Codegen
Just today, I was talking about myself repainting my mouse when a girl overheard me and called me a sick bastard and slapped my face.

I don't meant the rodent.

- some women
Comments: 0 || Votes: 0

Dumbass #158 - Submitted on 04-11-2004 by Codegen
I was shopping for a new case around local stores. I came across one and entered. I told them I was looking for a case. The guy shows me one and tells me it is ATX, and came with a power supply. I looked at it, for a minute, I thought "Hey, even though it doesn't have a PSU, I might buy it". After final inspection I noticed it was actually micro-ATX. I think this was more of a con than a dumbass, but, I tore up the card they gave me, and went over to the other store. Who were MUCH more helpful.

- Anonymous
Comments: 0 || Votes: 0

Dumbass #154 - Submitted on 01-20-2004 by TJTheNotSoSane
Ok I got a real bad one for you. My friend is computer illiterate is computer, his computer started blowing smoke out of the power supply. He immediately shut it off. He called me told me his problem and asked if it needed "the patch"

- TJ
Comments: 1 || Votes: 0

Dumbass #152 - Submitted on 11-03-2003 by Red Squirrel
Our school network is not too bad, it is a novell netware network and has the potential to be quite a good network if it would properly be maintained. It spans accross all the school board and the main server/router is at the head office where the internet is provided. But no one maintains this quite large network. We have a bunch of viruses on there, many problems workstation-related (dead hard drives, missing mouse etc...) but nothing is being done about it.
Now they are planing to switch over to a pure windows 2000 network. Windows requires lot of maintenance such as patching, do you think it will get done? Probably not. I'm glad I'm graduating this year.

Comments: 0 || Votes: 0

Dumbass #150 - Submitted on 11-03-2003 by Red Squirrel
I have this guy who thinks he's all smart and often threats me etc, talks bad of me on his forum, that type of stuff. This was almost a year ago, I decided I should fetch his IP through an email just for blocking purposes, so I sent an email with an attached html file that hot linked a unique image off my server, for some reason I never thought of putting it directly in the email. Anyway, I got this response:
"THink im that stupid to open an html in real time. Dumb ass. I opened it with dream weaver, shit for brains."
I don't use html editors but do my sites by hand, but last time I checked, dreamweaver is more then just a text editor, but actually displays the content of what the page looks like... including pictures. Sure enough, there was an entry in my log for that picture. (unique picture)

- bitbender
Comments: 0 || Votes: 0

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