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Dumbass Database
A collection of dumbasses for your amusement
Created By: WebMasterP
Version: 2.8.5


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Dumbass #157 - Submitted on 03-29-2004 by Zidewinder
I have been having latency problems on my Verizon DSL for some time now, and cannot get tech support to help me. Her eis thae latest call, probably the most retarded yet:

VZ: How may I help you?

Me: I am having real bad latency problems with my DSL for the past month or two, my ping to my default gateway is around 50ms all the time etc.

VZ: Are you running a firewall?

Me: Umm yes I run ZoneAlarm, and a router.

VZ: Well we don't support firewalls or routers (WTF?!!? Do they WANT their customers becoming spam-bots and unknowing distributors of kiddy pr0n?? ) and since you're using them I cannot even ping your computer since they block everything.

Me: No, I have them set to allow pings.

VZ: No sir, they block everything coming into your computer, they act as a roadblock and [babbling snipped].

Me: Well actually I have them set to allow pings, so you can do it, believe me.

VZ: No, [5 minutes of false education on the functions of a firewall snipped].

Me: LOOK mam, my IP is 4.4.232.189, you CAN ping me, go ahead and try it.

[minute long pause]

VZ: And what is the IP of your default gateway?

Me: ...Uh 4.4.224.1, but did pinging me work?

VZ: Yes it was 100%.

Me: ...

VZ: Okay your default gateway was 100%.

Me: ...But what was the ping time?

VZ: It came back 100%.

Me: No I mean what was the roundtrip time, how long did it take??

VZ: It took about 123 ms.

Me: Well it takes 50 for me and both those are extremely high.

VZ: No sir, and if there was a problem it would be timing out.

Me: ......No it might just be REAL SLOW.....

VZ: No sir if there was a problem it would come back timed out until it got to 50% and then it would just stop.

Me: Hehehe oh god. Can I please talk to a supervisor?

VZ: Sure, I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you.

[click, 10 second pause]

VZ: The estimated wait time for a supervisor is about 15 min, do you want to wait that long?

Me: God no, I'll call back some other time.....

VZ: Thank you for calling Verizon etc. etc......

Me: *ka-chick*

Me: *shoots self*

- Verizon Support: Natasha (or something like that)
Votes: 2

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