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Dumbass Database
A collection of dumbasses for your amusement
Created By: WebMasterP
Version: 2.8.5

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Dumbass #67 - Submitted on 02-02-2002 by Naz88
Working for a large ISP as helpdesk tech, I had a call fairly early in my shift. The man on the other end of the phone asked me a simple question, he said "My new Laptop has just popped up an alarm, saying Critical Battery Alert, What does that mean?" I said: "Your battery is about to die, is the laptop plugged in?"

he said yes it is, its been plugged in all night,

lucky i knew this guy, as in the last 3 years he has called in well over 200 times for support, and everytime he seems to get dumber and dumber..

I thought to myself for a second, this is a new laptop we sold it to him, it should be fine, then I got a bright idea and asked "are you sure its plugged in?" he said yes but let me check, he came back a few seconds later and said "yup the wire is coming right out of the back of the laptop right into the phone jack"

doh... "that wont charge it up" I said, "you have to plug it into the electrical outlet!!!"

I have over 200 stories just as dumb as this, all 100% real, all from the same user..

Just a few of the replies to this comuptationally challenged person

like " no, you cant file an RJ45 (Ethernet) to fit into an RJ11 (telephone) jack and expect it to work!!!"

"yes you have to hit enter after typing a URL!!!"

"yes you do have to open a web browser to access the web ..."

"His mouse was not moving. Eventually i figured out he wasn't in windows yet!!! Doh!"

"open browser after connected."

"the logon to windows screen has stopped **** from getting into his computer for two days (supposedly).. I got him through it"

"big surprise. he still can't connect. What is it, like 10 seconds since his last call? His username is in there 2x. Remove it please and try again. Too bad you don't get air miles for calling helpdesk. We could send him to the moon."

"no you cant connect through a dial up modem through a network card... tsk tsk... told him it had to be a phone cord and he probably pulled the cord cause i got disconnected"

list goes on and on, ill post more in a week or so, all the same user...

- Anonymous
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